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Vacation Help Needed

I am going on vacation for a couple of days. Is anyone out there willing to help tend the pumpkin patch while I am away? It is well maintained. There is only a few things you need to do:

1. Weed
2. Water, morning, noon and night.
3. Bury vines to promote secondary root growth.
4. Add fertilizers. Liquid and solids, regularly according to a strict schedule.
5. Prune vines and bury the ends.
6. Pollinate a few each morning--early.
7. Add fungicides
8. Apply insecticides.
9. Perform surgery on vine borers.
10. Construct sunshade cover.
11. Measure growth each day.

Are we having fun yet, hmmmmm!?!